10 signs you are in your own way

At some point in our lives, we all feel a little confused, whether in a relationship that does not make us happy, in a job that is not suitable for us, we still feel it. The goal is just out of reach. For whatever reason, we can't make a difference in some aspects of life - or find a true sense of satisfaction. Sometimes the answer to these questions is that whether you realize it or not, you may actually feel stagnant because you are engaging in self-destructive behavior without knowing it. Here are 10 ways you can get it your way and get yourself back to the process.

Credit: twenty20.com/@stefiakti

1. You don't think you are "good enough"

Low self-esteem is a common obstacle, and it You can instill a feeling that is not worth what you want. “I often see people who try to accept them 'good enough',” said LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in San Jose, Calif. "You may not apply for promotion because you have come to the conclusion that your colleagues are more qualified, or you give up online dating, because deep down, you think you are not young or young enough." Another way of expression, Paul Coleman, Psy.D., the author of "When Your Heart Sees Peace in the Film," says that when you are worried that your efforts are not good enough and the overall fears make you unable to really try the hardest. Some people "have no enthusiasm for the goal, because if they fail then they have an excuse to save face," he said. Xplains. "They often keep enough resistance and increase their chances of not succeeding, but there is an inherent excuse for doing this (for example, I will succeed, but it costs too much, I am too tired, I have other priorities). "

Credit: John Foxx / Stockbyte / Getty Images

2. You delay

Another common form of self-destruction is postponing action. This is actually quite common among perfectionists. “Perfectism leads to delays, which can lead to embarrassment,” Coleman explained. "You are caught in the details, can't distinguish what is important, what is not."The test is also related to procrastination: “Overthinkers are afraid of making mistakes, so they have put forward too many scenarios that may go wrong, and then feel that they have to come up with plans to deal with these possibilities,” he said. "Results: They feel overwhelmed and procrastinated. "Aware that things are often better than perfect, and allow yourself to complete a project's knowledge that you can edit and hone later.

Listen now : Every woman should know what is self-defense - from an expert who

Image source: Jupiterimages / Stockbyte / Getty Images

3. You are caught in a negative thinking cycle

According to Executive Coach Michele Jennae, owner of Perpetual Career Management, the degenerative language is one of the largest permanent languages ​​to act in its own way. "The degenerative language is essentially self-satisfied, the past language, as a negative self-fulfilling prophecy," she explained, which makes you a negative space in yourself and your achievements. When it comes to exercise, for example, Jenny Schatzle, a personal trainer in Santa Barbara, Calif., says you might have "I should run faster" or "The person next to me looks better" or "I still have more The idea of ​​losing weight is important. Negative thoughts prevent people from taking positive steps toward health. “We will do these amazing, awesome, positive things for our bodies and minds, such as running or going to the gym, and then immediately thinking about negative thoughts,” She said, "No matter how fast or how slow you are, it doesn't matter. You are still taking pictures of people sitting on the sofa. Yes, I am proud and proud, you are doing this."

[123 Credit: sunnycircle / iStock / Getty Images 4. You set an unrealistic goal

In some cases, your ambition may indeed be misled - Or where it is impossible to appear in your life - this will make you fail from the start. "Someone may want to be a famous actor in theory, but everyThe reality that individuals have to audition may be ill for a day in her life," said brand identity expert Khalan Bridges, who is the co-founder and CEO of UnFactory, explaining this from a macro perspective. Chasing reality is not faithful to you at the beginning. "Advertising creative Brittany Poole, co-founder of HUSH, digital detox ravel resources said that this may also happen at a more micro level. "We said we will get up at 6 in the morning to exercise, or we are every night I have to write for three hours. But some of these things never happen, and we often waste subsequent guilt," she explained. The simple way to end this model is more honest about what you actually do.

Credit: [ 123] twenty20.com/@WR36 5. You blame your responsibility

Life coach and counselor Emma Brook said that the most common self-destructive behavior of her clients is not Responsible for her own life. She often hears such reasoning: "I can't do XYZ because I have to take care of my husband/child/old parents. “Although we all have responsibilities, she said, “Our subconscious is easy to use them as an excuse for not pursuing dreams, because if we do, we may fail or be disappointed. In fact, we raised our hands and said, 'Hey, this is not my fault, I can't do this! 'A common way that this may appear in your life is diet and exercise, says Schatzle, who often tells them that they don't have enough time to exercise. "You don't need to exercise for an hour a day to keep it." Health or weight loss," she explained. Minutes are better than no minutes. "

Credit:

Tane4kaChe / iStock / Getty Images 6. You surround yourself with poisonous people [123

From keeping a bad relationship to continually agreeing to drink with your friends, interacting with people who don't add any positive influence to your life will prevent you from looking for healthier bonds - just exhausting your emotions . “Many people rationalize and prove that these relationships are justified. They have a core belief that others’ needs are better than their own needs.More important,” said Marni Battista, CEO of Dating With Dignity. “Then they beat themselves to maintain this relationship. This is a vicious circle. "Although these relationships are unique to everyone, after spending time with some people in your life, it's worthwhile to assess your feelings. After you pick up a cup of coffee or chat over the phone, ask yourself. Mood. If you feel exhausted and not fulfilling, you know it's time to call back this relationship.

Credit:

Diana Meister / iStock / Getty Images

7. Your conditional thinking will affect Your Behavior [ 123] Suathi Surendra, MBA, Womanatics.com's Women's Issues blogger explains that conditional thinking leads to conditional behavior, which leads us into situations that may not actually apply to us. In the belief system, these habits may come from our growth - even a comment we have heard from an influential person a long time ago - and affect us every day, from our date to the type of work we apply for, even us Something to wear. "For example: I never crossed red because I habitually think that red is a bright color, it is not suitable for dark-skinned girls. "She explained." It took me decades to get out of that, and to embrace the beautiful colors that are right for me now! "

Image Source: twenty20.com/@vgallianomio

8. You are more concerned with feelings and feelings

Adult peer pressure may be a powerful thing, And the urge to resist the invasion is very important, Schatzle said. This is especially true when making healthy choices: maybe you go out to eat with friends, everyone is burger and fries. Because of "deception" these days are almost It's a combination of rituals, especially in women, it's hard to be that kind of person. Order salads in this case - especially if your food buddy starts to give you an effort. "What do you choose to eat or drink - or not Drinking - no with your friendsOff,” Schatzle said. “Why do your food choices and feelings of good wishes affect them? "

Source: anankkml / iStock / Getty Images

9. What you expect to be the worst is to protect yourself

Exclusively paired relationship expert Susan Trombetti pointed out that Expecting the worst can be a form of self-protection that leads to self-destruction, especially in your romantic relationship. This is more common among people who have experienced bad relationships in the past. "If you don't ask for more relationships, Then you don't take any risks," she explained. If you approach a relationship like t, you will never disappoint him, but you may also scare away the right person. "If you have established a layer of protection Measures to make sure that you will never be hurt again, then no one will blame you. But you may find that not many people are willing to struggle in your layers," wrote relationship expert Evan Marc Katz. He said that if you treat potential partners as hurt or disappoint, they probably won't stay.

Letter of Credit: twenty20.com/@SofiM

] 10. When you start seeing the results you stop

Maybe you are good at realizing your Goals, but you don't follow up properly to keep them moving forward. "When we saw some improvements, we began to reduce our own needs," U's Nic Velasquez said infinitely proficient, a platform to help people learn new skills. We feel that we should take a break, so we begin to slow down and change the behavior that first gives us results. He explained that people are usually very good at building momentum - and then stay away from it. Coleman agrees and points out that the solution to this problem is entirely willpower. "Persist in completing the task, don't let the usual excuses win." He said.

Credit: Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images

What do you think?

Do these apply to you? You findWhat is useful for ending self-destructive behavior? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Credit: twenty20.com/@amyjhumphries