First come, first served: A good reason why you may be single is obvious and completely effective: you want to be! But according to the 2017 Statistical Brain Report, more than 49 million Americans try to find love through online dating. Perhaps more notably, more than half of the participants in the 2017 Zoosk survey admitted to discussing marriage after six months of dating.
In other words,
has a large number of fish. The sea, many of them want long-term love. But this is not as easy as meeting someone on the Internet. If you want a romantic companion, but your only "dating night" involves you and Netflix, some reflections, hard work and behavioral changes can go a long way. The following factors can help explain why your single time is longer than you want, allowing you to move toward a coupled path. Source:photo_chaz / iStock / GettyImages
1. Focus on your love for yourself.
This is true: It is important to love yourself first. Los Angeles-based matchmaker and dating coach Marla Martenson said that although you don't need to target zero insecurity (as if even possible), knowing your self-worth can improve your life and make it easier to find love.
"When you are happy with yourself, others will want to be by your side," she said. Some ways to improve self-esteem include pursuing a fulfilling job or hobby, eating well, managing stress, staying active, focusing on your strengths, and seeking support. Friend or therapist. Credit:
Giulio Fornasar / iStock / GettyImages
2. Don't find "one person" again.
Set romantic intent and invest in yourself When you seek love, there can be help. But if you are more focused on finding "that" than on making yourself the kind of person (and partner) you want to be, you might burn some dating bridges before the relationship. There is an opportunity to start. Because no one wants to feel that they are just a hunting trophy. Your ultimate partner shouldIt feels like you love them because they are alone, not just a warm body sleeping next to them.
"Honest self-analysis can be highly efficient and can lead to some amazing changes to your "Los Angeles Dating Authorized Coach," agrees guide author Eileen Tilman said. She suggests asking yourself what you can do to strengthen yourself as a person - such as class or travel - which can help you turn your attention to to become a suitable partner
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Credit: ArthurHidden / iStock / GettyImages3. Don't be trapped in the past.
Have you ever had a date to know when it will end so you can stop hearing your date? Or you may find yourself comparing your date to your predecessor. Everyone has a wound, and letting them take over can make your heart wall so that you don't let love or potential partners see everything you offer.
"If you are still upset or feel hurt or injured for a predecessor, you need some 'my time' to heal and solve the problem," dating coach Marla Martenson said. To achieve this goal, practice self-awareness and take on any difficulties. Let yourself be sad if needed. You can even hold a “let go” ritual, symbolically breaking, burning or burying past damage by writing them on a note.
Credit: oatawa / iStock / GettyImages4. Be patient and persistent.
Enthusiasm is a good thing, but focusing on the future, not b now and understanding potential partners can be bad for you. Dating head coach Eileen Tillman said: "Sometimes when we want something so bad, we inadvertently destroy or damage our chances of getting it."
If you find yourself skipping A few steps, please adjust and divert your attention. Ask about your date and a common futureUnrelated real problems and everything related to them: What are their hobbies? Where did they grow up? What is their favorite movie, book or band? To practice this while reading the dating files online, think about it, "I want to know if we can have a fun night?" No, "Oh, this is my forever companion!"
[123 ] Credit: Rawpixel / iStock / GettyImages 5. There are standards, but don't be too picky.
If your partner's must-have list is endless, it's time to reconsider your priorities. Although everyone has their own non-negotiating - factors like being single and living in the same state are certainly reasonable - indicating everything from height, weight and eye color to income level can make you no longer consider the love of life. Dating coach Mara Matensen said that as long as you avoid superficial details, the basic wish list is fine. She said: "Think outside the box and date people who don't check each box." "You may be surprised by what happened."
Credit: apichon_tee / iStock / GettyImages 6. Try to overcome social anxiety.
According to the American Association of Anxiety and Depression, approximately 15 million Americans suffer from social anxiety. Its symptoms - strong anxiety or fear of being negatively assessed, judged or rejected in a performance or social setting - may make the appointment challenging. But living in anxiety does not make you "less" or less exciting as a partner. You bring other things to a relationship, such as a caring heart and a high degree of empathy. And your symptoms don't have to run the program. If you or a potential date has experienced social anxiety, keep open communication and find ways to get to know each other in a comfortable environment - such as a quiet picnic instead of a crowded party. Or you may need to seek the support of a therapist as needed.
Credit: jacoblund / iStock / GettyImages 7. Identify potential fears of intimacy.
Even if you are eager to be close, it is not uncommon to worry about intimacy. Melissa Divaris Thompson, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City, said that fear may stem from past relationships or real or imagined experiences. Signs may include avoiding contact, unstable relationship patterns, low self-esteem, isolation and difficulty expressing your feelings. "If you have been dumped, destroyed or abandoned, you may have this fear," she said. "Don't let yourself become vulnerable may make others wonder if you have hidden something, or you may not believe they are enough to see your loopholes." T hat is not a strong relationship. She suggests treating treatment as a good way to solve these problems. You can also try to share or record them with your loved ones.
Credit: splendens / iStock / GettyImages 9. Don't compare yourself to others.
It's easy to scroll through all the engagements, anniversaries and pregnancy announcements on social media, feeling you are falling behind in life. When such comparisons become routine, you may be inclined to choose the next person you are going out of. "When we compare ourselves to others, it may prevent us from remembering our true identity and the gifts we bring," she said. And what you really want in your partner. So, when you work and meet with realistic expectations, remember that no matter where you are on the road, you deserve to be loved. The right people will see the beauty of your work, just as you will see their beauty.
Credit: Oinegue / iStock / GettyImages What do you think?
Are you single? What do you like for singles? What do you expect about a relationship? What do you think might hinder you? Please let us know in the comments! Credit: oneinchpunch / iStock / GettyImages
