Comforting people who have lost loved ones may be full of uncertainty. You want to be helpful, but you don't want to make this person more sad. Sometimes it is easier to get in touch with it at all. However, according to Fara Tucker, a licensed clinical social worker with a private clinic in Portland, Oregon, you don't know what to say and don't contact someone. Sad people desperately need support and contact - they don't have to feel alone. At the same time, Tucker said: "Some things are best left to yourself." Therefore, please avoid these 10 statements and follow the advice of these experts.
Credit: Adob e Stock / LIVESTRONG.COM1. "I know how you feel."
[ 123] Surprising. Talking about arrogance. Jennifer Rollin, a therapist at LGSW (JenniferRollin.com), said that even if you have experienced the experience of losing a loved one, no two people have the same experience. Brian Caples, a therapist for the new solution for family counseling, adds that sharing your own experiences will shift the focus away from the sad person. Instead, just listen, he said. Never assume that you know what other people are experiencing. "A more helpful statement might be like this, 'I don't know how you feel, but I am here to help me in any way,'" Rowling suggested.
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Credit: glisic_albina / Adob e Stock 2 "He/she is in a better place now."
Church leader David Blackmore said that there are many changes in this sentence, but they all imply a higher power mastery. The death of this person. Recipients who do not accept your religious beliefs will also make this statement a problem. In addition, this emotion may disappoint someone. “When they are sad, people need someone else who is willing to get into trouble with them,” she said. "They need to be willing to say certain versions of 'Really, really bad' and 'I love you'."Credit: perfectlab / Adob e Stock 3. "Let me know how I can help."
The most common people heard by sad people In a word, it is also the most problematic one - even if it is kind. “TH Blackmore said: “This sentence makes it sad for people who are sad to do things. Psychotherapist Katherine Schafler.com suggests exactly how you can help. "Of course, the idea of extending yourself to a sad person is that this is a very goodwill, but it better provides Around the details of the task or time, "she said." For example, say: 'I will come every Friday at 3pm. Walking the dog If you feel like a company, just wait for me in the kitchen, maybe next Friday. "
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Rob-Byron / Adob e Stock 4. “At least he/she...”There are many ways to accomplish this statement, including “...no longer suffer.” Although the intention behind these words is certain It’s kind, but they can be hurt. Amy Florian, a pathologist (the highest level of sad education) and the author of “No longer swearing: supporting customers through the toughest times,” said, “The survivors actually heard Is 'How can you be so selfish? Isn't you feeling relieved and happy for him? 'She said, 'Better, this is a statement that shows two aspects of the equation - the person who passed and the person who was abandoned. "Say: 'We are all relieved, he no longer suffers. No one will want him to suffer. But we will really miss him.'"
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Balazs-Kovacs / Adob e Stock 5. "Everything is for a reason."It is natural to want someone to understand sadness, but it doesn't work. Joanne Medellin, marriage and family therapist at Leawood Consulting Services, said: "When we are so deeply painful, there is nothing to understand it. Schafler added that losing a loved one may not even want to immediately understand what happened. She said: "There is a reason for everything, that is, at some point they are so desperately in need of a shock of sadness." "On the contrary, focus on the sad person, rather than rationalizing the loss.
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10 things you should not say to overweight people Credit: [ 123] jrwasserman / Adobe stock
6. "What do you decide to do...? "Yes, some logistics needs to happen after someone dies - go beyond the will, determine if you need to sell the property, etc. Although many people show love by helping organizations practice, Schafler recommends not When it comes to asking these questions, it's aggressive. Instead of the problem, she suggests: "I believe you don't even have a second thought of how to handle all of this furniture... I will be by your side when you are ready to deal with it. "
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7. "You should..."Never use these two Words begin. Although they may seem like useful suggestions - such as encouraging people who have lost loved ones to vacation, putting on real clothes or walking - it is vital to let others grieve in their own way. Schafler says, leave this person aside Time is very important, let him or her stay in the pajamas or let the dishes pile up for a while. She explained: "This is a par for the stadium, and these allowances strengthen those who are sad, they have not done anything wrong. Things, and the pain is okay after you suffer such a huge loss. ”
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Antonioguillem / Adob e Stock 8. “What is the last thing you said to him/her? "
This is a big taboo, according to nutrition therapist and health coach Darshi Shah, especially in the case of accidental death, he lostTwo worlds of loved ones launched an attack and now offer sad suggestions to others. “Suddenly, accidental death, someone going to work, never going home is very difficult to classify and store,” she said. It can increase the burden and then be asked to recall the final conversation. In addition, it is really private information. Her advice? "Don't ask. If he or she wants to share, they will tell you."Credit:
Jacob-Lund / Adob e Stock 9. "I can't pass what you have." Come to life. "
For example, the death of a child can be said to be the most unbearable loss. Nancy Keane, who wrote books for families with children with cancer, said that when people say "you are so strong", parents who have lost loved ones hate "I can't live through what you have. She said they would Q, "Do they say that I love my children less than the children they love them because my body survived?" Instead, she suggests sticking to the hug, expressing sadness, and sharing the memories of the dead child, such as: "I am sorry" or "I can't imagine the pain you feel, but I hold your heart tight." "Credit:
supakrit21 / Adob e Stock 10." Isn't it time to move on? "
Everyone's grief process is unique. "Sorrow is not linear," Tucker said. "There is no standard or norm. "So, imposing a timetable is never helpful for those who are suffering from bereavement. In fact, trying to do this usually tells more about the discomfort of the person speaking," she added. "Now is not the time, unless the sad person says it is time." ", Shafler said, and said otherwise it would make your friends feel that he or she has failed. Instead of making suggestions, realize that sad people do not have a specific time frame to do so.Credit:
kichigin19 / Adob e stock What do you think?
Have you experienced grief? What are the most gratifying things people say to you? What are people? What are the most frustrating things or the way they act? Please tell me in the commentsWe!
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