When your partner cheats, it is as if the world you know has been seriously changed. You think that your life is real - you are in a loving, loyal, monogamous relationship - will raise questions and make you doubt your partnership, your partner and yourself. However, there is a way to deal with this difficult situation and have access to treatment, learning and growth. Whether you choose to stay together or break up, this is something you can do after being deceived.
Credit: Vasyl Dolmatov / iStock / GettyImages1. Give yourself some space.
In order to begin the process of progress, it is important to clear the slate by taking a break from the person being deceived. Of course, if you live together, get married or have children, this can be even more difficult. However, ExBoyfriendRecovery.com's breakup coach Anna Gonowon said that you really need some space to deal with your feelings about the situation without touching them, even for a day or two.
"For example, people should not be deceived by words, emails, phone calls, Facebook or messages," she said. She added that this also includes not communicating with friends or family members of other cheating partners or other women or men. If you choose to break up, Gonowon recommends not communicating with your predecessor for 45 days, as it may take 21 to 66 days to form and break a habit, making her recommendation average two.
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Credit: monkeybusinessimages / iStock / GettyImages2. Processing Your emotions.
"Handling deceptive emotionally destructive experiences is especially important for being able to move forward," said break-up coach Anna Gonowon. “Even for just a few meetings, there are many benefits to talking to a psychiatrist, therapist or counselor.”
She said that the guidance was guided by an objective third party.Reflexive thinking can give you a way to deal with relationships, cheating and its consequences, as well as the behavior or personality of the cheater (see No. 5). If you are not familiar with talking to a professional, she recommends using a diary or art therapy to help you express and manage your feelings.
Credit: g-stockstudio / iStock / GettyImages3. Assess what happened instead of blaming.
The founder of the dating lounge dating app, relationship expert Samantha Daniels said that resisting the urge to play responsible games, but it is practical for how and why cheating occurs. She said that if your partner deceives you, don't blame yourself, because, no matter your relationship is healthy, cheating is wrong. But sometimes both sides will hurt this relationship. Daniels said that this may be a good learning opportunity to let you know if and how you contributed to avoid it happening again.
Los Angeles relationship expert Jackie Viramontez, author "I can't believe I date him," agree, and point out that blaming will put you in a cycle of anger, shame and sadness. She said: "In order to move forward, transfer your attention from the wrong person to the person you want to be and the future." "In other words, exchange 'I blame you for the past' to 'I choose your future. '"
Credit: yacobchuk / iStock / GettyImages4. Recognize deeper wounds.
Cheating is a big problem. Being betrayed by a partner can have a profound impact. "When someone cheats, they trigger a deeper fear: 'I will be alone', 'I will never really be loved,' 'I can't believe' and so on," said relationship expert Jackie Viramontez. Although you can't control what your partner does or say, you can control your continued belief in yourself and your value. She said: "Take a betrayal as an opportunity to brighten your fears and cure them so that you don't bring them into your future." Talk to a therapist or a trusted friend or record them to help you dig into these ugliness. The mood and start the treatment process.
Credit: g-stockstudio / iStock / GettyImages5. Analyze the liar.
Relationship expert Samantha Daniels suggests objectively "analysing" people who deceive you so that you can better understand who they are - good traits and flaws. "It's easy to put someone on a pedestal, but you'd better recognize the negatives in them so you don't feel that you feel bad and are no longer together, so you can move on," she said. By analyzing behavioral patterns and any changes your partner has experienced, you can better understand their decision to cheat.
Credit: splendens / iStock / GettyImages6. Heal your self-esteem.
It is normal to feel rejected when someone cheats, but it is also important to know that your partner's choice has nothing to do with you. You may not necessarily be the perfect companion in this relationship, but this should not be an excuse for your partner's decision not to be loyal to you.
"If you personally choose, you not only need to cure the damage, but also break the self-esteem," relationship expert Jackie Viramontez said. "Repetition of a mantra like "Their choices are related to them, not me" will enable you to overcome betrayal with complete confidence."
Credit: mavoimages / iStock / GettyImages7 Find satisfaction in other places.
Your work will really help you move on, break up coach Anna Gonowon said. "It's important to remember that there is life before cheating, and there will be life after life. Cheating," she said. She suggests making two lists: the first one should be an activity and interest that makes you feel angry, happy and excited. The second list should be an adventure for the next 12 months - the courses you can take, the places you want to meet or want to go. Then start making plans. “This usually helps people look forward to forwarding a fun and exciting timetable that shifts their focus from the past to the future,” she said.
Credit: twinsterphoto / iStock / GettyImages8. Do something good for others.
A good way to be filled with emotional tanks is to volunteer or work for a valuable career. “People are happy by helping others and surrounded by people who are interested in creating the world. A better place,” said break-up coach Anna Gonowon, explaining how helpful it is to find satisfaction outside of relationships. Whether you are walking a dog for a local animal shelter, serving food in a soup kitchen, or signing up for a fundraising event 5K, you will immediately feel a higher sense of purpose.
Credit: Rawpixel / iStock / GettyImages9. Go back there.
If you choose to leave this relationship, don't wait until you are completely cured and start your dating completely. Give yourself some time to deal with, but then go back there. Daniels said: "After being deceived, you will feel very upset about yourself and want to know what problems you have. This is very natural." "A good way to combat 'I don't deserve' blues is to go out, with Others meet and let them remind you that you are great, interesting, intelligent, charismatic and kind." Although you may feel embarrassed at first, accepting the challenge will help you move on to the next life. Love.
Credit: nd3000 / iStock / Getty ImageWhat do you think?
What is the best way to overcome a cheating partner? Should you stay with someone who deceives you? What is the hardest part of overcoming infidelity? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Credit: nd3000 / iStock / GettyImages
