Usually, people with children like to celebrate the value of their decision to have children. They talk about the fun of parenting - despite sleepless nights and quarrels between siblings - and excitedly asking others when they might join Mom and Dad Club. But not everyone wants to be - or maybe - parents. Whether you choose to have no children, want a child in the distant future or are fighting infertility, your good comments on his or her lifestyle may become rude or even very harmful. For those who don't have children, you should think twice.
Credit: Twenty20 / @_ eatandlove_1. Do you have children?
This query seems to be complete and flawless - usually. However, for those who don't have children, this can be difficult to answer, especially since it is usually the first question people ask when they meet new people. “My husband and I have no children. We have been experimenting for many years,” said former professor and author Dr. Janet Ruth Heller. “I am tired of the first question in the conversation is whether I have children. The value of women should not only depend on their ability to conceive and copy. First ask our interests, work or background.” After someone answered that they have no children The discussion has also become very personal. “This led to conversations about fertility, adoption or criticism,” said Dane Kolbaba, who has been trying to make a baby year with his wife. “Even if we are talking to someone we have never met before, it tends to lead to a deep, sensitive area that we have no plans to enter.”
Credit: Twenty20 / @sangriel [ 123] 2. "I guess you are not ready to have a baby."
This comment assumes that everyone wants - and can have - children. Worse yet: it also triggers some judgment. When she and her husband tried and failed to get pregnant, relationship coach Marisa Ferreira was at the receiving end of the line. "I just want to be a mother," she said. "The person who said this hinted that I was more interested in material things, and I was not ready to raise children. I never cared about material things.I remember that if I could only have one child, I would be happy to live in a tent. “When the comments are too hurt, Ferreira finally tells her friends and her personal messages about her husband. Because people will stop making assumptions. Credit: Twenty20/@carly.ciardullo 3. "The clock is passing! "
Comments are not only unthinking, but also superfluous. According to Dr. Danielle Keenan-Miller, a clinical psychologist in the infertility community in Los Angeles, it is not surprising that any woman of childbearing age imposes restrictions on her. Reproductive longevity. “Many women struggle under time pressure without additional social pressure or judgment,” she said. This comment also raises a sinister assumption: women who cannot have children can’t wait because they wait too long. Birth. Although this may be true in some cases, there are many women under the age of 35 and even under 30 years of age who cannot have their own physical children due to other medical conditions. "Another stress point is that play means that this woman without a child has an important person. She can see a future. The comment clock will add extra pressure. She "should" find a person who has already given birth. The truth is this. The only person this review should come from is a gynaecologist or a reproductive endocrinologist. I Keenan-Miller said: "Look at a woman's hormone levels and help her make informed decisions about her ability to conceive. "Credit: Twenty20 / @ enjoythemoment 4. "Once you have a child, you will understand." "
For women who choose to have no children, this statement has a clear assumption that you will have children, Karen Malone Wright explains, his founder and CEO blog TheNotMom. Com. "I hope the first response is a bright spot and then clarify their life decisions," she said. "When another person turns to say 'you will regret your decision', 'you are breaking your mother's heart 'Or any one of a dozen or so, trying to humiliate a childless woman. Designed to change the mind of a woman. "Of course, there is oneSome experience can only be owned by people with children. But saying this to those who have no choice and occasional no children is not respectful. "Write down someone who understands something simply because they don't have direct fertility experience is demeaning," says therapist and solution-centered mentor Crystal Rice. "This statement discretely implies that someone is better to some extent through the "understanding" of having a child. The child does not have universal truth." Credits: Twenty20 / @ Duangbj 5. "You don't know what it is."
One of the signs of parenthood, especially early parenthood, is suffering from severe sleep deprivation. As any parent knows, this form of sleep deprivation is unique to giving birth to children - but that doesn't mean that if they don't have children, whether it's the environment or the choice, they should be thrown on people's faces. . The following story from Wright shows how non-parents can feel less like parents in this regard: "My husband and I are redecorating and renovating our house and working until 3 am. When I go to work the next day, I happen to happen. Speaking and my husband in charge wants to be able to contact her. When I yawn and explain the reason, he smiles and says: "You can't say that you are tired until you have a newborn in your house! "The comment was left to her." I couldn't speak, tears," she said. "According to his 'rules', I will never agree to complain about fatigue, because there will never be a newborn in my family. "Parents should use their experience (in this case lack of sleep) to sympathize with people without children, and Not doing better. "I think, I think in the future, the man's comment is "Drawing all night?" If you are as tired as my new baby, you will get my sympathy! "Credit: Twenty20 / @ Igor_Kostyuk 6. "Raising a child is one of the most beneficial things a person can do. "
Although having children can be a pleasure, being a parent is not the only way to enrich your affluent life." Raising a child can bring rewards, yes. But it can also help orphans, as a nurse, write an influence on someoneRice's poem Rice said: "A positive way or just live a happy life." This statement may be quite self-indulgent and inadvertently weaken each other's sense of accomplishment and positive impact on the world. “Keenan-Miller agrees and points out that many women who have worked with her without children want to have children, but don’t do this because of biology, living environment or even child death.” Suppose all women without children choose This approach is a major mistake, and the casual, casual comments about the child can awaken deep pain at an inappropriate time," she said. Credit: Twenty20 / @ aguyfrompasadena 7 "You obviously don't really want children, because you didn't adopt them." "
assumes that it is wrong to take a child because someone cannot have a child. Heller recalls that when she met a woman with several children and answered her question, She explained that she and her husband could not get pregnant. "My acquaintance said bluntly that I obviously didn't want children because my husband and I did not adopt children. I found this to be very insensitive," she said. "The decision to adopt is separate from the decision whether people want children. Many couples prefer to have children who have a genetic relationship with them, but this is not possible for about 10% of couples. Wright added that an alternative version of this statement appeared in the form of a question. "Why don't you adopt it?" “She said it was a rash depreciation because “just the word.” The questioner suggested that adoption is easy to achieve and that both parties are easy to accept and agree or both. Not accurate in all respects," she said. Credit: Twenty20 / @ sabrinafvholder 8. "You can be late because you have no children. "
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Another common assumption is that because someone has no children, he or she has less need for personal or family time. Marketing professional Hillary Ceddy, no children without choice The colleague who described the hearing said something similar: "Hillary can work late, she has no children," or "Hillary does not need a vacation like me - I have children," because they are parents, soI am more worthy of rest. “The reason this is so insulting is that some people dare to think that my personal time is less than their personal time because I don’t have children,” she said. Wright agrees, adding that parents' employees and supervisors often think of homeless workers waiting at home - whether they need to walk a pet or a sick relative - it is not as important as a child's football game. She said: "In fact, the efforts of employers to support parents' daily care, nursing stations and parents who have not followed the holidays are unfair to non-parents."
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Twenty20 / @ alliecandice 9. "You are very lucky, you have no children!"Sometimes, parents will feel sorry for the time, energy and money to raise their children. But saying such things, or encouraging non-parents to "live" and "enjoy freedom," can be very painful for those who want to get pregnant. "They will let the children take all their economic resources, put on their silk shirts, and leave blocks on the floor to keep them moving forward," health psychologist Gretchen Kubacky, Psy.D. He has 14 years of experience working with infertility patients and young people with chronic diseases that interfere with reproduction. Keenan-Miller added that although this comment may be positive for a woman who has no choice but no children, it is likely to cause female dissatisfaction. Have a child, but can't or who lost a pregnancy or child. “The complaints about the way a woman is raised may be ignored at best,” she said. “If the person making the comment knows why a person has no child, the worst case may be considered harmful.”
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10. "Once you find the right person, you will change your mind."Ask why someone is this thing I want to keep it Children, but another assumes that their current living environment is why they don't want children. “I don’t want children, it doesn’t depend on who my partner is. But once I find that the perfect partner strengthens my point, I will hint that I will become more 'whole’.. I am not a complete person right now," marketing expert Kim Kohatsu said, he chose not to have children. This means that a woman will "not" before she gets married and has been treated, which is an outdated way of thinking.
Credit: Twenty20 / @ hellomikee
What do you think?Have you ever thought about what you said to someone who has no children? Have you heard of it? Any previous comments or questions? Which comments do you think are the most annoying? Share in the comments section!
Credit: Twenty20 / @ barborametkova
